{"product_id":"400ml-water-bottle-60-years-water-bottle","title":"60 Years and It Still Hasn't Arrived 400ml Water Bottle","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAt least this one actually turns up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSixty years. Countless attempted deliveries. Not a single successful drop off. England's World Cup is officially the most anticipated parcel in history and it has been lost in transit since 1966 with absolutely no explanation and zero compensation offered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis bottle, however, will arrive. It will show up on time, in good condition, and will not spend three weeks claiming it attempted delivery while you were clearly in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFill it up, take it to the match, and stay hydrated through yet another tournament of hope, heartbreak, and logistical failure on a national scale.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium, dishwasher safe, two caps included and BPA free. Unlike England's delivery record, this bottle is completely dependable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug and t-shirt for the full set. All three will definitely arrive. That's more than we can say for the trophy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium · Dishwasher safe · Two caps included · BPA free · Not microwave safe · Delivery status: sixty years and counting\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Aluminium \/ White","offer_id":54134731440469,"sku":"400ml-WHI","price":14.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/Leftside_Printing_d3d16e07-a044-481a-9db5-e5d2339019fd.png?v=1781444512","url":"https:\/\/www.offensivelyyours.co.uk\/products\/400ml-water-bottle-60-years-water-bottle","provider":"Offensively Yours","version":"1.0","type":"link"}