{"title":"Novelty Items","description":"\u003cp\u003eSmall but mighty in the laughs department. Add a rude coaster to your coffee table or a sweary sticker to your laptop, it’s the little things that count.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"11oz-mug-caution-twat-drinking-mug","title":"Caution: Twat Drinking Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou have been warned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou have been warned.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis is not a drill. Hazard tape has been deployed. The warning triangle is up. Proceed with caution. There's a twat in the vicinity, and they're fully caffeinated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe perfect mug for the person in the office who everyone knows about. You know the one. Bless them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eAlso works brilliantly as a gift for a mate who has absolutely no self-awareness. They'll think it's ironic. It's not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eGlossy white ceramic, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. Because even twats deserve hot tea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e11oz · Glossy ceramic · Dishwasher and microwave safe · Consider yourself warned\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54087442530645,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-042b5424d85415e07066b56da90a4e13.png?v=1780842567"},{"product_id":"11oz-mug-im-a-fucking-delight-mug","title":"I'm A Fucking Delight Mug","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAnd don't you forget it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eFor the person who is fully aware of how brilliant they are and sees absolutely no reason to be modest about it. This is their mug. It was always going to be their mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eSparkles included, because of course they are. This is not a mug for the understated. This is a mug for someone who walks into a room and improves it immediately, and they know it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eBrilliant gift for a friend who needs reminding. Even better bought for yourself, which let's be honest, is exactly what's going to happen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eGlossy white, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. Low maintenance, high impact. Just like its owner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e11oz · Glossy ceramic · Dishwasher and microwave safe · Sparkles very much intended\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54087444693333,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-1c8e6daabfc12ac35ff828b932f5bc1d.png?v=1780842628"},{"product_id":"11oz-mug-leave-me-alone-mug","title":"Leave Me Alone! I'm Busy Doing Fuck All Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo not disturb. Seriously.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis mug is for the person who has earned the right to do absolutely nothing and would very much like everyone to respect that. No tasks. No questions. No \"quick favour.\" Just them, their brew, and the beautiful void.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eIt's not laziness. It's recovery. There's a difference. Probably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003ePerfect for a Sunday. Or a Monday. Or honestly any day that calls for minimal effort and maximum peace, which, let's be fair, is most of them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eGlossy white, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. Because even doing nothing deserves a decent mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e11oz · Glossy ceramic · Dishwasher and microwave safe · Not available. Do not approach.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54087444988245,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-3620316116a4b94f0156e61a97a7c106.png?v=1780842640"},{"product_id":"11oz-mug-might-be-gin-mug-artwork","title":"This Might Be Gin Mug","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt's probably tea or coffee. Almost certainly tea or coffee.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eBut the beauty of this mug is that nobody knows for sure, and that tiny bit of mystery is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Is it a brew? Is it a G\u0026amp;T? Is it 11am on a Saturday? All valid. All possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eFor the person who likes a drink, likes a laugh, and sees absolutely no reason why a mug can't multitask. Works just as well at a dinner party as it does on the sofa. Possibly better.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eAlso makes an excellent gift for anyone whose first response to a hard week is \"right, I need a gin.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eGlossy white, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. What goes in it is entirely your business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e11oz · Glossy ceramic · Dishwasher and microwave safe · Contents unconfirmed\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54087445348693,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-ee0bafb0c45ab286235f7a4e7174064e.png?v=1780842645"},{"product_id":"11oz-mug-might-be-vodka-mug-artwork","title":"This Might Be Vodka Mug","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt's water. Definitely water.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eVodka is colourless, odourless, and completely indistinguishable from a perfectly innocent hot drink. Not that we're suggesting anything. We're just saying the mug raises an interesting question and leaves it very much unanswered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eFor the person who operates on a need to know basis and has decided nobody needs to know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003ePairs well with a knowing look, a long week, and absolutely zero explanation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eGlossy white, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. The mug is innocent. Whatever's in it is between you and your choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e11oz · Glossy ceramic · Dishwasher and microwave safe · No questions asked\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54087446856021,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-0146636ea1fd06e1ac30850a1e190a5d.png?v=1780842745"},{"product_id":"11oz-mug-youredeadtousartwork","title":"Can't Believe You're Leaving Mug","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGenuinely gutted. Obviously.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis is the mug for the colleague who made the job bearable. The one who knew where everything was, remembered everyone's birthdays, and somehow kept the whole place running while making it look effortless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThey're leaving. The place will absolutely fall apart. Everyone knows it. Nobody's saying it out loud except this mug, which has no filter and even less chill.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eA proper send-off for someone who deserves one. Far better than a supermarket cake and a whip-round card signed by people who can't spell their name.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eGlossy white, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. Just like them, built to last and impossible to replace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e11oz · Glossy ceramic · Dishwasher and microwave safe · One of a kind, and we all know it\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54087450165589,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-76a08f1b71cbf61cf994b8588632b810.png?v=1780842774"},{"product_id":"westford-bag-for-life-long-handles-its-not-me-tote","title":"It's Not Me... It's You Tote Bag (Natural)","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor carrying your stuff and your opinions simultaneously.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis is the bag for people who are done pretending. Done with the small talk, the forced smiles, and the situations they'd really rather not be in. Now they can broadcast that energy hands free, while also doing the weekly shop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eCute little hearts included, because the message lands better with a bit of irony. It's not aggressive. It's just honest. With accessories.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton, 10 litre capacity, and long shoulder straps at 67cm so it actually sits properly rather than falling off every five minutes. Lightweight at 140gsm, which means it folds up small enough to stuff in another bag. Very practical for someone who has no time for nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs brilliantly with the matching mug for a gift set that says exactly what needs saying.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton · 10 litre capacity · 67cm shoulder straps · 140gsm · Lightweight and reusable\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Natural","offer_id":54110744740181,"sku":"W101-NAT","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-20388e2b1ede95c987afe85320eed7fb.png?v=1781099107"},{"product_id":"westford-bag-for-life-long-handles-its-not-me-tote-black","title":"It's Not Me... It's You Tote Bag (Black)","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor carrying your stuff and your opinions simultaneously. In black, obviously.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSame message. More attitude. The natural version says it with a shrug. This one says it with a look.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor people who are done pretending, done with the small talk, and have chosen to express that through their choice of bag. Respect, honestly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton, 10 litre capacity, long shoulder straps at 67cm so it sits properly rather than sliding off every thirty seconds. Lightweight at 140gsm, folds up small, and goes with everything. Especially a mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs brilliantly with the matching mug for a gift set that really commits to the bit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAvailable in natural too, if you want to say the same thing but slightly more gently.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton · 10 litre capacity · 67cm shoulder straps · 140gsm · Lightweight and reusable\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":54110756569429,"sku":"W101-BLK","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-1f07b6ab09732977e5a6e6e7b00c5a73.png?v=1781099312"},{"product_id":"greeting-cards-its-not-me-its-you-a5-greetings-card","title":"It's Not Me... It's You Greetings Card","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor when you need to say it properly. In writing. With hearts.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSometimes a text just doesn't cover it. This card does. Bold, to the point, and surrounded by cute little hearts that make the whole thing land somewhere between brutal and brilliant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePerfect for Valentine's Day, an anniversary, or just a Tuesday when someone has genuinely pushed you to your limit and you want them to know about it in card form.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBlank inside so you can add your own personal touch. Which could be heartfelt. Could be devastating. Could be both. That's entirely up to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePrinted in the UK on 300gsm matte card, because even a backhanded sentiment deserves quality materials. Comes with a white envelope, ready to send.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAvailable in two sizes: regular (105 x 148mm) or large (148 x 210mm) depending on how much impact you're going for.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e300gsm matte card · Blank inside · White envelope included · Printed in the UK · Available in regular and large\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Large - A5","offer_id":54111103320405,"sku":"GC-A5","price":4.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Regular - A6","offer_id":54111103353173,"sku":"GC-A6","price":3.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-c7836e0b81905669e95f915e6dc95ae4.png?v=1781104355"},{"product_id":"westford-bag-for-life-long-handles-im-a-fucking-delight-tote","title":"I'm a Fucking Delight Tote (Natural)","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHands free. Completely unbothered.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor the person who walks into every room knowing full well they're the best thing in it. This bag just makes it official. In sparkles. In public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWhether it's the weekly shop, a trip to the market, or just existing loudly and confidently in the world, this is the bag that matches that energy perfectly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton, 10 litre capacity, 67cm shoulder straps that actually sit properly, and lightweight enough at 140gsm to fold up and take anywhere. Which, to be fair, is exactly what a fucking delight would do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs brilliantly with the matching mug for someone who likes their accessories to have a consistent message.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton · 10 litre capacity · 67cm shoulder straps · 140gsm · Lightweight and reusable\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Natural","offer_id":54116302127445,"sku":"W101-NAT","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-0af575af10646de944c6abca4af852f2.png?v=1781171046"},{"product_id":"greeting-cards-im-a-fucking-delight-a5-card-im-a-fucking-delight-a5-card","title":"I'm a Fucking Delight Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor someone who already knows, but deserves to see it in writing.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis is the card for the person in your life who lights up every room, says the thing nobody else will, and somehow makes everything better just by being there. They know they're brilliant. This just confirms it officially. In sparkles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWorks for birthdays, celebrations, or absolutely no occasion at all. Sometimes people just need reminding. And sometimes that reminder needs to arrive in an envelope with a pink sparkly font and zero apology.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBlank inside so you can add your own words. Though honestly, the front says it all.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePrinted in the UK on 300gsm matte card, because a compliment this good deserves quality. Comes with a white envelope, ready to go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAvailable in two sizes: regular (105 x 148mm) or large (148 x 210mm) depending on how loudly you want to say it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e300gsm matte card · Blank inside · White envelope included · Printed in the UK · Available in regular and large\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Large - A5","offer_id":54116312449365,"sku":"GC-A5","price":4.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Regular - A6","offer_id":54116312482133,"sku":"GC-A6","price":3.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-6fed4f2e78e4afe32de18e8ec67c86ba.png?v=1781171325"},{"product_id":"ceramic-fridge-magnet-im-a-fucking-delight-tote","title":"I'm a Fucking Delight Fridge Magnet","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the person who wants a daily reminder. On the fridge. Where everyone can see it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBecause some truths are worth sticking up in the kitchen. This one belongs right there between the dentist appointment card and the pizza delivery menu, quietly radiating main character energy every single morning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eA brilliant little gift on its own, or the perfect finishing touch alongside the mug, tote, and card for someone who likes their whole vibe to be consistent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePrinted, sturdy, and at 5mm thick it actually stays put rather than sliding off every time you open the freezer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eApprox 5 x 7cm · 5mm thick · Printed fridge magnet · Sparkles very much included\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"White","offer_id":54116385751381,"sku":"CERAMIC-MAGNET","price":8.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-9bd9ea3d00838799c51c4007740e6c49.png?v=1781172365"},{"product_id":"westford-bag-for-life-long-handles-fairy-dogmother-tote","title":"Fairy Dogmother Tote Bag (Natural)","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the woman who stops for every dog she passes. Every single one.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis bag was made for the person who knows every dog in the neighbourhood by name but couldn't tell you their owner's. The one who always has treats in their pocket, crouches down on the pavement without a second thought, and considers a good nose boop a perfectly valid reason to be late.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton, 10 litre capacity, and 67cm shoulder straps that sit properly so she can keep both hands free for the important stuff. Like ear scratching. Lightweight at 140gsm so it folds away easily between dog walking duties.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs brilliantly with the matching mug for the Fairy Dogmother in your life who deserves the full set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton · 10 litre capacity · 67cm shoulder straps · 140gsm · Lightweight and reusable · Paw prints not included\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Natural","offer_id":54116434739541,"sku":"W101-NAT","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-575bb5800e9aa5e8db71eb5930284c38.png?v=1781172956"},{"product_id":"ceramic-fridge-magnet-fairy-dogmother-magnets","title":"Fairy Dogmother Fridge Magnet","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFairy Dogmother Fridge Magnet\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor the woman whose fridge deserves to know exactly who she is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eRight there in the kitchen, between the vet appointment reminder and the dog food delivery confirmation, this magnet proudly states what everyone already knows. She is the Fairy Dogmother. It's official. It's in print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eA lovely little gift on its own or the perfect finishing touch to the mug and tote for the dog lover in your life who has fully committed to the identity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePrinted, sturdy, and at 5mm thick it stays put. Unlike the dogs, who go absolutely everywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eApprox 5 x 7cm · 5mm thick · Printed fridge magnet · Paw prints included, actual paws not\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"White","offer_id":54116437754197,"sku":"CERAMIC-MAGNET","price":8.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-dbb05ef28fd882ebdbb531251995e27a.png?v=1781173027"},{"product_id":"greeting-cards-fairy-dogmother-a5-card-fairy-dogmother-a5-card","title":"Fairy Dogmother Greetings Card","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the woman who loves every dog she's ever met. Without exception. Including the bitey ones.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis is the card for the Fairy Dogmother in your life. The one who remembers your dog's birthday but might forget yours. The one every dog gravitates towards at a party. The one who, honestly, you suspect the dogs like more than they like you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eTell her what she is. In writing. With paw prints.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWorks brilliantly as a birthday card, a thank you, or just a completely unprompted appreciation of someone who makes the world better one nose boop at a time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBlank inside so you can add your own words, though \"you're the Fairy Dogmother and we love you for it\" covers it pretty well.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePrinted in the UK on 300gsm matte card, because she deserves quality. Comes with a white envelope, ready to go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAvailable in two sizes: regular (105 x 148mm) or large (148 x 210mm).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e300gsm matte card · Blank inside · White envelope included · Printed in the UK · Available in regular and large\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Large - A5","offer_id":54119126761813,"sku":"GC-A5","price":4.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Regular - A6","offer_id":54119126794581,"sku":"GC-A6","price":3.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-088614dfd525ed2f9829549a0bb19647.png?v=1781184916"},{"product_id":"400ml-water-bottle-football-the-sport-water-bottle","title":"Football: The Sport Where Grown Adults Cry 400ml Water Bottle","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eTechnically for water. Emotionally, for something much heavier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBecause watching football is dehydrating work. The shouting. The sighing. The standing outside in a car park pulling yourself together before heading back in to face everyone. You need fluids. This bottle has you covered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eTake it to the match. Take it to the pub. Keep it on your desk as a quiet tribute to every ninety minutes that has ever broken you and the fact that you showed up again anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium, dishwasher safe, two caps included and BPA free. Considerably more dependable than the back four.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug and t-shirt for someone who takes their suffering seriously and would like the full set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium · Dishwasher safe · Two caps included · BPA free · Not microwave safe · Tears not included\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Aluminium \/ White","offer_id":54124622709077,"sku":"400ml-WHI","price":14.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/Leftside_Printing_3f4b1461-2bcf-4416-820c-eb07d2a88876.png?v=1781261562"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-penalties-tshirt","title":"We Don't Talk About the Penalties T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWe just don't. That's the rule.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eNot at the pub. Not at work on Monday. Not at Christmas dinner three years later when someone brings it up and the whole room goes quiet. It's an unspoken agreement between every England fan in the country and we will not be revisiting it here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWhat we will say is this: it happened, we survived, and we're already looking forward to the next tournament when it will definitely be different and we will absolutely not be having this conversation again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor every fan who knows exactly which penalties this is about without needing to be told. You know. We all know. We don't talk about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton, seamless twin needle collar, taped neck and shoulders, and a tear out label. Comfortable, well made, and considerably less painful than the memory this t-shirt is referencing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton · 170gsm · Twin needle sleeves and hem · Tubular body · Tear out label · White only\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":54124692144469,"sku":"GD05-WHI-S","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":54124692177237,"sku":"GD05-WHI-M","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":54124692210005,"sku":"GD05-WHI-L","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ X-Large","offer_id":54124692242773,"sku":"GD05-WHI-XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":54124692275541,"sku":"GD05-WHI-2XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":54124692308309,"sku":"GD05-WHI-3XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":54124692341077,"sku":"GD05-WHI-4XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":54124692373845,"sku":"GD05-WHI-5XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-934829ea05246100ef357982841f1068.png?v=1781262696"},{"product_id":"11oz-mug-penalties-mug","title":"We Don't Talk About the Penalties Mug","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eNot now. Not ever. That's final.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eEvery England fan knows exactly which penalties this mug is referring to. There's no need to elaborate. There's no need to revisit. There's certainly no need to do a detailed breakdown of who stepped up, what happened, and in what order. We all lived it. We all remember. We don't talk about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWhat we do is make a brew, hold this mug, and carry on. Because that's what you do. You grieve quietly, you regroup, and you start believing again just in time for the next one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe perfect gift for any England fan who has been here before and survived. Which is all of them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eGlossy white, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. Unlike certain penalty takers, this mug will not let you down at the crucial moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e11oz · Glossy ceramic · Dishwasher and microwave safe · The penalties are not up for discussion\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54124708168021,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-be8d4b748fffe9879e2aa365014e42f1.png?v=1781263038"},{"product_id":"400ml-water-bottle-penalties-water-bottle","title":"We Don't Talk About the Penalties 400ml Water Bottle","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eIt's not on the agenda. It never will be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis bottle is for carrying water, staying hydrated, and absolutely not rehashing what happened in the shootout. Whatever you do with it at the match, in the gym, or at your desk, the penalties are not part of the conversation. We've all agreed. It's done.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWhat we will say is that this bottle is aluminium, dishwasher safe, comes with two caps, and is BPA free. It will not bottle it at the crucial moment. Unlike some people. Who we are not naming. Because we don't talk about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug and t-shirt for the full set of dignified, tight-lipped suffering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium · Dishwasher safe · Two caps included · BPA free · Not microwave safe · The penalties remain unspoken\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Aluminium \/ White","offer_id":54124709904725,"sku":"400ml-WHI","price":14.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-65c700fac830bffb38a0d39f821e04aa.png?v=1781263146"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-1966-called-tshirt","title":"1966 Called. It's Still the Last Time. T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe call nobody wanted to receive. But here we are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor every England fan who has watched tournament after tournament, convinced themselves each time that this is the one, and been quietly, devastatingly wrong every single time since 1966. This t-shirt knows. It's not judging. It's just stating the facts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWear it with the resigned pride of someone who has been here before and will absolutely be here again next time, because that's just what being an England fan is. A lifetime commitment to hope with absolutely no supporting evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBrilliant on its own. Even better as part of the full World Cup range alongside the It's Coming Home and Four Years of Hope gear for the complete England fan experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton, seamless twin needle collar, taped neck and shoulders, and a tear out label because at least something about this experience should be comfortable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton · 170gsm · Twin needle sleeves and hem · Tubular body · Tear out label\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":54128124821845,"sku":"GD05-WHI-S","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":54128124854613,"sku":"GD05-WHI-M","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":54128124887381,"sku":"GD05-WHI-L","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ X-Large","offer_id":54128124920149,"sku":"GD05-WHI-XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":54128124952917,"sku":"GD05-WHI-2XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":54128124985685,"sku":"GD05-WHI-3XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":54128125018453,"sku":"GD05-WHI-4XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":54128125051221,"sku":"GD05-WHI-5XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/Front_Printing_620a6e23-7d8a-4009-8052-79123d1d5b43.png?v=1781335217"},{"product_id":"11oz-mug-1966-called-mug","title":"1966 Called. It's Still the Last Time. Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe mug that tells it like it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eEvery England fan knows this feeling. The hope, the belief, the absolute certainty that this tournament is the one, followed by the quiet, crushing reminder that 1966 is still the only entry in the winning column. Still. After all this time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis mug sits on your desk every morning and reminds you of that fact. And yet somehow you still believe. That's not delusion. That's character.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor the fan who has watched every tournament since, lived every near miss, and will be front and centre next time with exactly the same level of hope and exactly zero additional evidence that it's going to go differently.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching t-shirt for someone who wears their England fan credentials with battered but unbreakable pride.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eGlossy white, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. Unlike England's World Cup record, this mug will not let you down.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54128127639893,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/Leftside_Printing_86dbb9e0-b82c-402a-8e7e-d8edecbe6340.png?v=1781335363"},{"product_id":"400ml-water-bottle-1966-called-water-bottle","title":"1966 Called. It's Still the Last Time. 400ml Water Bottle","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eStay hydrated through the historical disappointment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSixty years of tournaments. Sixty years of hope, belief, and the quiet crushing realisation that 1966 is still sitting there, entirely alone, as England's only entry in the winner's column. And yet here we are again. Filled up and ready to go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBecause that's what England fans do. We show up. We believe. We stay hydrated throughout the entire emotional ordeal and we come back next time with exactly the same level of misplaced optimism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eTake it to the pub. Take it to the match. Keep it on your desk as a daily reminder of both the hope and the historical record. It can handle both.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium, dishwasher safe, two caps included and BPA free. More reliable than a penalty shootout and considerably better at delivering than sixty years of tournament football.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug and t-shirt for the full 1966 collection of dignified, well hydrated despair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium · Dishwasher safe · Two caps included · BPA free · Not microwave safe\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Aluminium \/ White","offer_id":54128128917845,"sku":"400ml-WHI","price":14.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/Leftside_Printing_909407a5-cec5-4ca9-9e09-1b54d5fde919.png?v=1781335512"},{"product_id":"11oz-mug-60-years-mug","title":"60 Years and It Still Hasn't Arrived Mug","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAt this point we're not even surprised.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSixty years. Dozens of tournaments. Countless near misses, penalty shootouts, and moments of genuine hope that somehow, impossibly, still manage to end the same way. It hasn't arrived. It's not coming. And if it is coming, someone needs to have a serious word with whoever is handling the logistics.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWorse delivery than Evri. And that is saying something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor the England fan who has waited, believed, checked the tracking, and been told it's just around the corner every four years since 1966. This is your mug. It understands. It has been here the whole time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBrilliant on its own or paired with the full World Cup range for someone who appreciates both football and a very relatable delivery joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eGlossy white, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. Unlike the World Cup, this mug will actually arrive and it will definitely show up when expected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e11oz · Glossy ceramic · Dishwasher and microwave safe · Delivery status: still pending since 1966\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54134728982869,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/Leftside_Printing_2fa01a60-a0c4-4e35-9a36-ed45dca76959.png?v=1781444246"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-60-years-tshirt","title":"60 Years and It Still Hasn't Arrived T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSixty years. No update. No estimated delivery window. No explanation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eEngland have promised it's coming. Every four years without fail, the nation collectively checks the tracking, convinces itself it's just around the corner, and is met with nothing but silence and a slightly apologetic shrug from the defence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWorse delivery than Evri. And everyone in this country knows exactly how bad that is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor the fan who has been waiting since before they were born, inherited the hope from their parents, and will almost certainly be passing it on to the next generation. Wear it with the weary, unbreakable pride of someone who simply refuses to stop believing despite all available evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug and the rest of the World Cup range for the complete collection of good humoured, historically accurate England fan despair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton, seamless twin needle collar, taped neck and shoulders, and a tear out label. Comfortable, reliable, and guaranteed to actually arrive unlike some things we could mention.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":54134729769301,"sku":"GD05-WHI-S","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":54134729802069,"sku":"GD05-WHI-M","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":54134729834837,"sku":"GD05-WHI-L","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ X-Large","offer_id":54134729867605,"sku":"GD05-WHI-XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":54134729900373,"sku":"GD05-WHI-2XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":54134729933141,"sku":"GD05-WHI-3XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":54134729965909,"sku":"GD05-WHI-4XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":54134729998677,"sku":"GD05-WHI-5XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/Front_Printing_11b5487e-2dae-452f-b3b8-bc4c494827b1.png?v=1781444384"},{"product_id":"400ml-water-bottle-60-years-water-bottle","title":"60 Years and It Still Hasn't Arrived 400ml Water Bottle","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAt least this one actually turns up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSixty years. Countless attempted deliveries. Not a single successful drop off. England's World Cup is officially the most anticipated parcel in history and it has been lost in transit since 1966 with absolutely no explanation and zero compensation offered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis bottle, however, will arrive. It will show up on time, in good condition, and will not spend three weeks claiming it attempted delivery while you were clearly in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFill it up, take it to the match, and stay hydrated through yet another tournament of hope, heartbreak, and logistical failure on a national scale.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium, dishwasher safe, two caps included and BPA free. Unlike England's delivery record, this bottle is completely dependable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug and t-shirt for the full set. All three will definitely arrive. That's more than we can say for the trophy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium · Dishwasher safe · Two caps included · BPA free · Not microwave safe · Delivery status: sixty years and counting\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Aluminium \/ White","offer_id":54134731440469,"sku":"400ml-WHI","price":14.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/Leftside_Printing_d3d16e07-a044-481a-9db5-e5d2339019fd.png?v=1781444512"},{"product_id":"11oz-mug-fetch-it-mug","title":"Someone's Going to Have to Go and Fetch It Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWe've waited long enough. It's time to take matters into our own hands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSixty years of standing at the door, peering down the road, absolutely convinced it's just around the corner. Sixty years of tournament football, collective hope, and the same outcome. At this point it's not coming home on its own. Someone is going to have to go and get it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWho that person is remains unclear. The manager has yet to confirm the squad for the fetch. But the belief is there. It has always been there. And this mug will be ready and waiting when it finally arrives.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor every England fan who has said it, meant it, and will say it again next time without a single shred of embarrassment. This is your mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the rest of the World Cup range for the complete collection of hopeful, slightly exasperated England fan gear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eGlossy white, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. This mug is going nowhere. Unlike whoever needs to go and fetch it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e11oz · Glossy ceramic · Dishwasher and microwave safe · Someone go and fetch it. Now.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54134733996373,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/Leftside_Printing_a8d48a36-0388-42a8-9905-dd1a40171280.png?v=1781444622"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-fetch-it-tshirt","title":"Someone's Going to Have to Go and Fetch It T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eRight. That's enough waiting. Someone needs to go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eIt's been sixty years of standing at the window, watching the road, absolutely certain it's on its way. Sixty years of optimism, near misses, penalty heartbreak and tournament exits that nobody wants to talk about. At this point the polite thing to do is go and collect it ourselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWear this t-shirt to the match, to the pub, or just around the house while shouting at the television. It says everything that needs saying. Sixty years. Still not here. Someone go and sort it out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor the England fan who believes, has always believed, and is now at the stage of belief where they're prepared to take direct action about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug and the rest of the World Cup range for someone who is done waiting and wants their wardrobe to reflect that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton, seamless twin needle collar, taped neck and shoulders, and a tear out label. Comfortable, reliable, and ready to go and fetch it if necessary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton · 170gsm · Twin needle sleeves and hem · Tubular body · Tear out label · White only\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":54134735372629,"sku":"GD05-WHI-S","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":54134735405397,"sku":"GD05-WHI-M","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":54134735438165,"sku":"GD05-WHI-L","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ X-Large","offer_id":54134735470933,"sku":"GD05-WHI-XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":54134735503701,"sku":"GD05-WHI-2XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":54134735536469,"sku":"GD05-WHI-3XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":54134735569237,"sku":"GD05-WHI-4XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":54134735602005,"sku":"GD05-WHI-5XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/Front_Printing_35fc843d-16a4-4387-85c6-32f910230ba5.png?v=1781444715"},{"product_id":"400ml-water-bottle-fetch-it-water-bottle","title":"Someone's Going to Have to Go and Fetch It 400ml Water Bottle","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePacked and ready to go and get it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSixty years of waiting for a delivery that simply refuses to arrive. Sixty years of hope, belief, and checking the door every four years only to find nothing there. Enough is enough. Someone needs to go and fetch it and they're going to need to stay hydrated on the way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis bottle is ready. Fill it up, grab your coat, and go and get it. Wherever it is. However long it takes. England fans have waited this long and they're not stopping now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eTake it to the match, take it to the pub, or keep it on your desk as a reminder that the mission is ongoing and the fetch is very much still scheduled.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium, dishwasher safe, two caps included and BPA free. Lightweight, durable, and absolutely prepared for whatever the next sixty years of tournament football throws at it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug and t-shirt for the full set of determined, well hydrated, fetch ready England fan gear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium · Dishwasher safe · Two caps included · BPA free · Not microwave safe · Fetch in progress since 1966\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Aluminium \/ White","offer_id":54134737502549,"sku":"400ml-WHI","price":14.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/Leftside_Printing_21ecea12-cf82-49a8-b275-e316ad80a293.png?v=1781444853"},{"product_id":"11oz-mug-its-coming-home-finally-design-mug","title":"It's Coming Home! (Finally) Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWe said it. We meant it. We were right all along.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis is the mug for the moment every England fan has been waiting for since 1966. The one where you don't have to add \"eventually\" or \"maybe\" or \"someone's going to have to go and fetch it.\" Just the pure, unfiltered, long overdue truth. It's coming home. Finally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor the believer who never gave up. The one who said it every four years through every near miss, every penalty shootout, every pub car park moment of quiet despair. This mug is for you. You were right. You were always right. It just took a while.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBrilliant on its own or paired with the full World Cup range as the optimistic counterpart to sixty years of well humoured suffering. Buy it now. Believe it's coming. Be ready.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eGlossy white, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. Unlike the last six decades of tournament football, this mug will absolutely deliver.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e11oz · Glossy ceramic · Dishwasher and microwave safe · Finally. Just finally.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54381416677717,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-b458449eef2c050a06b042f55afeb902.png?v=1784124518"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-its-coming-home-finally-design-tshirt","title":"It's Coming Home! (Finally) T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eGo on then. Say it. You've earned it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSixty years of patience. Sixty years of hope, belief, pub car parks, penalties we don't talk about, and four years of hope followed by ninety minutes of bollocks on repeat. And now this. The t-shirt nobody dared print for six decades.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eIt's coming home. Finally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWear it with the energy of every England fan who ever said it and meant it. Every person who stood in a car park at 10pm and still believed. Every nan who mentioned 1966 at Christmas dinner. Every single one of them was right. It just took a bit longer than expected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis is the t-shirt for the moment. Buy it now. Have it ready. Because when it happens, you're going to want to be wearing exactly this.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug and the rest of the World Cup range for the complete collection. The optimistic ending to sixty years of well humoured suffering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton, seamless twin needle collar, taped neck and shoulders, and a tear out label. Comfortable, durable, and finally worth celebrating in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton · 170gsm · Twin needle sleeves and hem · Tubular body · Tear out label · White only\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":54381425230165,"sku":"GD05-WHI-S","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":54381425262933,"sku":"GD05-WHI-M","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":54381425295701,"sku":"GD05-WHI-L","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ X-Large","offer_id":54381425328469,"sku":"GD05-WHI-XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":54381425361237,"sku":"GD05-WHI-2XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":54381425394005,"sku":"GD05-WHI-3XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":54381425426773,"sku":"GD05-WHI-4XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":54381425459541,"sku":"GD05-WHI-5XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-be80f3e0cda31dc13725c613bd0308bc.png?v=1784124532"},{"product_id":"400ml-water-bottle-its-coming-home-finally-design-water-bottle","title":"It's Coming Home! (Finally) 400ml Water Bottle","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eStay hydrated for the moment we've all been waiting sixty years for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBecause when it finally happens, and it is finally happening, you are going to need fluids. The celebration alone will be dehydrating. The shouting, the crying, the calling everyone you know, the standing in the street hugging strangers. All of it requires proper hydration and this bottle has been built for exactly that moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSixty years of waiting. Sixty years of four years of hope and ninety minutes of bollocks. Sixty years of pub car parks and penalties we don't talk about. And now this. The Finally bottle. The one nobody thought they'd live to see.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFill it up. Hold it tight. Let it happen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium, dishwasher safe, two caps included and BPA free. Reliable, durable, and absolutely ready for the greatest moment in English football history since the last time someone was old enough to remember it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug and t-shirt for the full Finally collection. The happiest ending to sixty years of well humoured suffering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium · Dishwasher safe · Two caps included · BPA free · Not microwave safe · Finally. Absolutely finally.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Aluminium \/ White","offer_id":54381449249109,"sku":"400ml-WHI","price":14.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-2ef16d4244159d885b83a3cec8950729.png?v=1784124538"},{"product_id":"11oz-mug-2026-is-our-year-mug","title":"2026: The Year It Actually Came Home Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eMark the moment. It's in the history books now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis is the commemorative mug that every England fan deserves after sixty years of waiting, believing, and being very publicly wrong about the timeline. 2026. The year it actually happened. The year someone finally went and fetched it. The year 1966 stopped being a punchline and started being a footnote.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eEvery generation has a where were you moment. This is ours. And this mug is the proof that we were right all along. It just took a while to come good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBuy it now as an act of pure optimism. Buy it in July as a celebration. Either way this mug exists because we believed and believing was always the right call.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor every fan who kept the faith through every penalty shootout, every pub car park, every ninety minutes of bollocks. This one's for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eGlossy white, 11oz, dishwasher and microwave safe. The most satisfying mug in the entire range. We said so.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e11oz · Glossy ceramic · Dishwasher and microwave safe · 2026. It actually came home.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic \/ White","offer_id":54381457965397,"sku":"MUG-CER-WHI","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-b945a2406459752470ae5474f915d8ed.png?v=1784124567"},{"product_id":"400ml-water-bottle-2026-is-our-year-design-water-bottle","title":"2026: The Year It Actually Came Home 400ml Water Bottle","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor the victory lap. You've earned it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSixty years of filling up and showing up. Sixty years of taking this bottle to the match, to the pub, to the sofa, through every near miss and penalty heartbreak and ninety minutes of bollocks. And now this. 2026. The year it actually came home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis isn't just a water bottle. It's a piece of history. The commemorative vessel of the greatest moment in English football since 1966, which is also the last moment in English football, which tells you everything you need to know about how significant this is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eTake it everywhere. Show everyone. You were there. You believed. You were right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium, dishwasher safe, two caps included and BPA free. Built to last long enough to tell your grandchildren about the year it finally, actually, genuinely came home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug and the full 2026 celebration range. Because sixty years of waiting deserves the full set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium · Dishwasher safe · Two caps included · BPA free · Not microwave safe · 2026. The year it actually happened.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Aluminium \/ White","offer_id":54381460226389,"sku":"400ml-WHI","price":14.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-c38799d56e9856c57d200857da455042.png?v=1784124574"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-2026-is-our-year-tshirt","title":"2026: The Year It Actually Came Home T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWear the evidence. You were there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis is the t-shirt that sixty years of England fans could only dream about. The one that makes 1966 a chapter rather than the whole story. The one you'll still be wearing in ten years time when someone asks you where you were and you'll tell them exactly, in full detail, possibly more than once.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-decimal flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\" start=\"2026\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eThe year the delivery finally arrived. The year someone went and fetched it. The year every pub car park tear, every penalty we don't talk about, and every ninety minutes of bollocks was entirely, completely, retroactively worth it.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBuy it now as an act of pure confident belief. Buy it in July as the greatest souvenir of your football supporting life. Either way it belongs in your wardrobe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFor every fan who believed when there was no logical reason to. You were right. You were always right. It just needed a bit of time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton, seamless twin needle collar, taped neck and shoulders, and a tear out label. Comfortable, durable, and the most satisfying t-shirt you will ever own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton · 170gsm · Twin needle sleeves and hem · Tubular body · Tear out label · White only · Worth the wait\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":54381471301973,"sku":"GD05-WHI-S","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":54381471334741,"sku":"GD05-WHI-M","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":54381471367509,"sku":"GD05-WHI-L","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ X-Large","offer_id":54381471400277,"sku":"GD05-WHI-XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":54381471433045,"sku":"GD05-WHI-2XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":54381471465813,"sku":"GD05-WHI-3XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":54381471498581,"sku":"GD05-WHI-4XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":54381471531349,"sku":"GD05-WHI-5XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-463fc05e5162469691b42a5299ff4fb6.png?v=1784124583"},{"product_id":"400ml-water-bottle-2030-is-our-year-design-water-bottle","title":"2030 Is Our Year! It's Coming Home! 400ml Water Bottle","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eStart as you mean to go on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e2026 was brilliant. Genuinely, historically, spectacularly brilliant. But England fans don't sit still and they certainly don't stop believing. The ink was barely dry on the 2026 celebrations before someone, somewhere, quietly said it. 2030 is our year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThey're right. Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis bottle is for the fan who is already hydrating for the next tournament. Already planning. Already believing with the full unshakeable confidence of someone who has now done this before and knows exactly how good it feels when it comes home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eFill it up. Stay ready. Four years is nothing after sixty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium, dishwasher safe, two caps included and BPA free. Built to last the full four years until 2030 and well beyond, because England fans are in this for the long haul and always have been.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003ePairs perfectly with the matching mug for the complete 2030 early optimism collection. Get in early. You know it makes sense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAluminium · Dishwasher safe · Two caps included · BPA free · Not microwave safe · 2030. Already called it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"Aluminium \/ White","offer_id":54381482115413,"sku":"400ml-WHI","price":14.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-36fe6962a23159aa75296017ea9fff13.png?v=1784124724"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-2030-is-our-year-tshirt","title":"2030 Is Our Year! It's Coming Home! T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe ink on 2026 is barely dry and here we are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThat's the thing about England fans. We don't do quiet reflection for long. We celebrate, we savour it, and then somewhere around day three someone says it. Out loud. With complete confidence. 2030 is our year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eAnd they're right. We know it. You know it. Wear the t-shirt and let everyone else know it too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis is the shirt for the fan who celebrated 2026 properly and is already thinking about the next one. The eternal optimist. The one who has learned absolutely nothing from six decades of heartbreak and is entirely better for it. Hope is not a weakness. It's a personality trait. Wear it proudly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eBuy it now. Wear it for the next four years. Turn up to 2030 in it and be proven spectacularly right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton, seamless twin needle collar, taped neck and shoulders, and a tear out label. Comfortable, durable, and built for at least four more years of believing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e100% cotton · 170gsm · Twin needle sleeves and hem · Tubular body · Tear out label · White only · 2030. Calling it now.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensively Yours","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":54381503119701,"sku":"GD05-WHI-S","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":54381503152469,"sku":"GD05-WHI-M","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":54381503185237,"sku":"GD05-WHI-L","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ X-Large","offer_id":54381503218005,"sku":"GD05-WHI-XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":54381503250773,"sku":"GD05-WHI-2XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":54381503283541,"sku":"GD05-WHI-3XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":54381503316309,"sku":"GD05-WHI-4XL","price":16.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":54381503349077,"sku":"GD05-WHI-5XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0970\/4292\/3861\/files\/mockup-92732dc8f9a4649f721c2433d6ceedc7.png?v=1784124850"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.offensivelyyours.co.uk\/collections\/novelty-items.oembed?page=2","provider":"Offensively Yours","version":"1.0","type":"link"}